


Let Me Be The Calm You Seek

by Adarian



Category: Dragon Age II
Genre: Alternate Universe - Modern Setting, F/F, Modern AU
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-02-01
Updated: 2016-02-01
Packaged: 2018-05-17 16:54:22
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 10
Words: 19,276
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/5878396
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Adarian/pseuds/Adarian
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Modern AU: After 17 years, Isabela is married to wealthy investor Luis and has two children with him: 7 year old Carmen and 5 year old Esteban. When Esteban goes to his first day of kindergarten, Isabela falls in love with his teacher, Ms. Hawke, at first sight. Through her budding friendship with Merrill and others, Isabela begins to consider leaving her often cruel husband and leaving him for the much younger teacher that her children adore. </p><p>Written for a kink-meme prompt.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

**CW: emotional domestic abuse. I promise, PROMISE you that this ends well, but if this is something that might upset you, that's cool friends, you should go read something much softer and have a very nice day :D.**

**CW: menstruation jokes in this chapter, solely because children learning about body science is the funniest thing you have ever experienced.**

 

 

There are some children who absolutely do not want to go to the first day of school. There are some children who kick and scream and hold onto the door handle with all of their might. Some children that teachers have to spend the whole time comforting and still the child screams and cries for their parent.

Esteban was not one of them.

Isabela tried not to take it personally when Esteban ran excitedly out of the car and towards the playground. She locked the car and raced after him, managing to catch him before he went too far.

"Mama, I want to go say hi to my friends!" Esteban complained.

"You can't run in a parking lot, darling. Remember, walking feet."

Esteban scowled and slowed down, taking his mother's hand. Isabela walked him to the front door where the other children were lining up to go in. Isabela bent down to look her little son in the eyes.

"You'll be good for your teacher?"

"Yes, Mama."

"And you'll eat your lunch this time?"

"Yes, Mama."

"I love you, kitten."

"I love you too, Mama."

Isabela gave him a kiss on the forehead and he ran into the line. She pulled out her phone and took a few pictures of him. He made faces at her and she giggled. Eventually the bell rang and he went inside with the others. Isabela realized she was crying slightly and a stranger handed her a tissue. Isabela looked over to see the elven woman beside her who was also tearing up.

"It's so hard to see them grow up," the woman said, sniffling. "Just yesterday he was crawling and now he's off to school."

"Esteban is my youngest," Isabela confided. "You think it would be easier the second time. I'm just so used to having him at home."

"I'm Merrill, by the way." 

"Isabela."

"That's such a pretty name. My son is Tamlen. Maybe our boys will be friends, wouldn't that be nice? I had such trouble making friends when he went to preschool and oh, sorry, I'm talking your ear off."

Isabela smiled. "Not at all. It's nice to meet you, Merrill. I should probably get going. Hopefully I'll see you later."

Isabela went back to her car and took a deep breath. Now that both Esteban and Carmen were both dropped off at school, she had no idea what she was going to do with her day. At least kindergarten started at ten on the first day, giving her at least another hour with her son after dropping off her daughter at the school earlier.  
Normally she would be taking Esteban to the park or the library right now, but now she had to find something to do until 3:00. Maybe she'd go to the library anyways. Anything to stay out of the house a little longer.

Isabela ended up going shopping at the local mall, picking up treats for both of her children for their first day of school. Carmen had her eye on these pair of purple sneakers and Esteban was always a sucker for cinnamon buns. She also picked up the latest issues of their favourite comic books. She was lucky enough that her seven year old daughter and four year old son loved reading together and often shared each other's comics. There was nothing sweeter than seeing the two of them curled up in the little window nook laughing over the same panels. 

Isabela decided to grab some coffee and went to her favourite cafe in Hightown. She was half way through her latte when she got a phone call. She frowned and answered it, not recognizing the number.

"Hello?"

"Mrs. Baquero? This is Anders Thekla, I'm the school nurse over at Sacred Fire Elementary. Carmen seems to not be feeling well. Do you mind coming to pick her up?"

"Is she okay?" Isabela asked in panic.

"She's fine. Just a bad tummy ache."

Isabela sighed, "I'll be right over."

Isabela raced over to the school and down towards the nurse's office. Inside, a blonde man was in the midst of telling a joke to Carmen, her little girl already laughing before the punch line. She looked up joyfully at her mother.

"Mama!"

"You okay, love?" Isabela said, putting her hand on her forehead. "You do feel a little warm."

"I think I'm getting my period," Carmen said seriously.

Isabela rolled her eyes. "Carmen, we've been over this. You're not getting your period until you're much older. Trust me."

Anders nodded sympathetically. "Gave her the talk recently?"

"Unfortunately," Isabela joked. 

Carmen looked at Anders seriously. "My body is changing into a woman's."

Anders tried not to crack a smile. "Not today, friend. I think you just have a bit of a stomach bug. Mum will bring you home and spoil you. Now, I normally have my patients take something from the treat bag. You want to see what you get?"

Anders took a little cotton bag off his counter and Carmen reached in, pulling out a toy car. She frowned and put it back, pulling out a ring pop instead. She jumped off the bed and took her mother's hand.

"Thank you," Isabela said. "I'm sure she'll be back in class tomorrow."

"Unless my cramps start," Carmen said, nodding solemnly. 

Isabela picked up Carmen's backpack and they started walking down the hall.

"You want to walk by your brother's classroom and see what he's up to? We can make faces at him through the window."

Carmen pulled her forward to the kindergarten room. They looked in, seeing Esteban building a block tower with two other children. When the tower threatened to topple, his teacher ran forward to catch it. When she failed and it crashed on the floor, the children laughed. 

Isabela's breath hitched. Esteban's teacher had to be barely out of university, maybe 25 at the very most. Her dark skin contrasted beautifully against her white blouse, a risky choice in her profession. Her black hair was tied back, revealing her kind smile and soft hazel eyes. She may have been the most perfect woman that Isabela had ever seen. 

The teacher turned and their eyes met briefly. Isabela felt a shiver go down her spine and she looked away. 

Isabela tugged Carmen's hand. "Come on, sickie. Let's get you home."

***

When it came time to pick Esteban up, Carmen was sleeping peacefully in her bedroom. Isabela asked her maid Maria to keep an eye on her while she snuck out to get her younger child. Maria happily agreed, being quite fond of both kids.

Isabela felt oddly nervous, both longing and fearing seeing the teacher again. Her immediate attraction made her feel uneasy. She had been married for nearly twenty years. What was it about her that after only glimpsing her she was already fixated?

Isabela saw Merrill and she waved at her. Merrill walked over, pulling her jacket closer around her.

"Chilly today, isn't it?" Merrill said. "I was going to bring Tamlen to the park, but I'm worried the poor dear will freeze."

The school bell rang and the kindergarten class ran out the doors. Esteban lingered, walking hand in hand with a little boy. Merrill clapped her hands in glee.

"Tamlen! You've made a friend."

The boy walked over, still holding Esteban's hand firmly. "This is my husband. We got married during recess."

"Oh," Merrill said, chuckling. "Your father will be so pleased."

"Hi Mama," Esteban said cheerfully. "This is Tamlen. Can he come over and play?"

Isabela said nervously, "I suppose. If that's okay with Tamlen's Mom."

Merrill said, "We'd be delighted."

"You can follow me in your car, if you want."

Merrill explained sheepishly, "I took the bus."

Isabela shook her head. "I'll drive you to my place and drive the two of you home." 

"Wait!"

The two looked up, seeing the children's teacher running to them. The woman caught her breath before smiling. She held something out to Merrill.

"Tamlen forgot his Epipen."

"Thank the creators," Merrill said. "I'll have to be more careful. Da'len, you have to remember to keep this with you, it's very important. Maybe I'll bring a spare to keep at school. I don't know-"

"I'll talk to Anders about it. I'm sure he knows the procedures. I've just never had a child with such severe allergies in my class before."

"What is Tamlen allergic to?" Isabela asked.

"Bees," they said in unison.

Tamlen flinched slightly at the word and Esteban squeezed his hand, as if promising to protect him from all insects for the rest of his life.

"Oh," Merrill realized, "Isabela, you've probably never met Ms. Hawke, have you? Hawke, this is Isabela, she's Esteban's Mum. Isabela, Hawke and I went to high school together, we're old friends."

Their eyes met again and Isabela wanted so badly to trace those beautiful lips with her fingers. Those were the lips of someone who needed to be kissed often and by someone who knew how. Isabela suddenly looked away, embarrassed.

"We should get going. It was nice to meet you, Ms. Hawke," Isabela said.

"You too, Mrs. Baquero."

The four of them piled into Isabela's car. Merrill sat in the back with the boys, worried that Carmen's old booster seat was not quite right for Tamlen. He was a remarkably short boy for his age, even though he was sturdy enough. If not for the pointed ears, Isabela could have sworn he was a dwarf.

They arrived at the mansion and Isabela waved to the security guard, who opened the gates for them. Isabela drove up to the garage and parked her car just outside. She escorted Merrill and the children into the entranceway. Merrill looked around the main hall in amazement while Tamlen and Esteban ran off together.

"This is bigger than my entire apartment building," Merrill murmured.

Isabela explained, "Luis is an investor, he does well for himself, I guess. The boys will probably be off to the playroom. I'll get us some drinks and we can meet them in there. Tea? Coffee?"

"Just water, please."

Isabela went into the kitchen and poured two glasses of water from the refrigerator. She walked back into the main hall and led Merrill into the playroom. The boys were currently wading through a small ball pit, pretending they were crossing the Hissing Wastes. Merrill and Isabela sat on a nearby couch. They both looked up to see Carmen, now in her pyjamas, walking into the room. Isabela patted the couch and her daughter curled up with her.

"This is my eldest, Carmen. Carmen, this is Ms..."

"Tethras," Merrill said cheerfully. "But please, call me Merrill."

Carmen looked to Isabela in surprise. She didn't call any adults by their first name. Isabela nodded to let her know it was okay.

"Why are you here?" Carmen asked skeptically.

"Apparently we're part of the family now," Merrill joked. "Your brother and my son Tamlen have decided they're married."

Tamlen was currently fighting a "dragon" while Esteban pretended to be a damsel in distress. Only temporarily, possibly as a ruse to trick the beast before stabbing it with a plastic sword.

"Yeah, but we don't have people come visit."

Isabela wanted to slap her own forehead. "Darling, we have guests all the time."

"Dad's friends, not your friends, and I don't like his friends."

"We do a lot of after school activities," Isabela explained.

Merrill only smiled. "Nothing wrong with getting out of the house, I guess."

"You should go rest, sweetheart," Isabela said. "You're still warm."

Isabela kissed her daughter's forehead and she went back to her room. Merrill drank her glass of water and looked around at the various toys and books. Isabela was starting to see the room from her perspective. Luxury, wealth. Suddenly Isabela felt incredibly guilty. She didn't invite the woman over to show off. 

"Do you have any other children?" Isabela asked.

"I have a two year old, Lyna," Merrill said, taking out her phone. "He's with her dad right now. He finds it’s easier to write when he has one of his babies with him."

Merrill showed off a picture of her family. Both of her children were absolutely adorable with their black hair and fair skin. Her husband was also a handsome man, though at least a decade older. Less of an age difference between herself and Luis however and from the look in their eyes, there was a lot more love between them.

"She's beautiful," Isabela said quietly.

"She is, isn't she? We're hoping to have a few more, but dwarven fertility is so low, we're lucky to have both our babies as it is. Sorry, I didn't mean to make you feel uncomfortable, that was awkward of me to say."

Isabela laughed, "It's fine."

The boys were now raiding through the bookcase as Esteban was sure there was a book about elephants. Seeing that Merrill's glass was empty, she excused herself down to the kitchen. She made up a plate of apple slices, banana chunks, one cookie for each of them, and glasses of milk. She was bringing the tray upstairs when she heard the security alarm click off. She picked up pace and returned to the playroom quickly, delivering the treats. 

The boys started their snack and Merrill looked to Isabela in concern. "Everything alright? You look a little pale."

"Thought I saw a rat," Isabela apologized. "I've always been scared of them. When do you need to get home to get dinner started? I don't want to keep you and I did promise you a ride home."

"Oh you don't need to bother. It's a nice day and I saw a bus stop...somewhere."

"We'll have to do this at your place next time," Isabela said. "I'll bring the snacks. Is there something Tamlen really likes? I might make cinnamon buns, those are Esteban's favourite."

Esteban stood up suddenly and Isabela laughed, thinking that he had heard what they were talking about. Instead, the door opened and Luis entered, a feigned pleasant smile on his face.

"Darling," he greeted, kissing Isabela on the cheek. "You have a guest."

"Esteban made a new friend at school," Isabela said cheerfully. "Luis, this is Merrill and her son Tamlen. I was just about to give them a ride home."

"Where's Carmen?"

"In bed. She has a stomach bug."

"I hope she recovers quickly, I was hoping to show both my beautiful children off tomorrow. We're having a dinner party for an old friend's birthday. It's every father's right to brag to his friends about his children."

Merrill smiled. "You must be very proud, they both seem like lovely children."

"It was nice to meet you, Merrill. Perhaps we will see each other another time."

Isabela picked up Esteban, but Luis stopped her. "Esteban doesn't have to make the trip. He can tell me all about his first day at the big boy school."

Esteban leaned into Isabela and whispered, "I want to go with Tamlen."

Isabela kissed his forehead. "You'll see him at school tomorrow, love. You should spend some time with papa. I'll be back soon and you can help me with dinner."

Isabela reluctantly put her son on the floor. The little boy hugged Tamlen fiercely until Luis gently pried them apart. 

Merrill carried Tamlen out to the car, the toddler solemn now that he was away from his new best friend. Isabela made sure everyone was settled before turning out into the streets.

"Is he always like that?" Merrill asked.

"Like what?" Isabela asked, turning towards Lowtown.

"So...cold."

Isabela raised an eyebrow and Merrill apologized, "I'm sorry, that's rude of me."

Isabela said nothing and they drove in silence until they reached the apartment building. Isabela didn't get out of the car, only waving and waiting until she saw them get through the door. She drove back quickly, only really letting go of her breath when she got back in the front door.

Isabela went to the kitchen where Esteban waited patiently for her. She preheated the oven and pulled out her ingredients from the fridge, trying to ignore her husband's glare.

"Darling," she said to Esteban, "why don't you see if Carmen is feeling up for dinner? Tell her I can make her that soup she likes."

Esteban left the room and Isabela turned, leaning against the counter to look at her irate husband.

"I don't like having strangers in my house, Isabela."

"The boys wanted to play together and it was too cold for the park," Isabela explained. "I wasn't thinking. Next time, we'll go visit them."

"In a little hovel in Lowtown?" Luis asked skeptically. "Surely my son has better tastes than that. But boys are boys, I guess. It's harmless enough. So is Carmen really sick or is she faking again?"

"She thinks she's menstruating," Isabela said, rolling her eyes. "I knew she would be like this. The child is obsessed with bodies. If she ever becomes a doctor, I'm going to pin it on this."

"You shouldn't have talked to her about it anyways. She's young, she doesn't need to know this stuff. You're always filling her head with ideas. First all the soccer, now this. Why don't you encourage her with her interest in makeup? Turn her into a real girl after all this nonsense."

Isabela turned away to start chopping the vegetables. "How was work?"

"Good. I'm looking forward to getting some time in with Dan tomorrow. I think it will make a world of difference. The catering is taken care of? The decorations?"

"Everything is just fine," Isabela said, gritting her teeth. 

"Good. Call me when dinner's ready, will you?"

Isabela nodded, chopping harder than she needed to. When Luis left the room, she took a deep breath. Esteban wandered back in, babbling about Carmen being icky and how amazing Tamlen was. She helped Tamlen into one of the high bar chairs and listened to him while she worked, occasionally making reassuring noises so he knew she was listening. 

After dinner when both of her children were in bed, Isabela went to her room. She was fortunate to have a little studio with a small bed, in theory for the guests they never had over. Luis slept usually in the master suite and often she laid beside him, but only when he was between mistresses. Luckily he had just met a young thing trying to get started in the smuggling business. Hopefully it would preoccupy him for a few months.

Isabela laid back and tried to sleep, but the events of the day ran through her head. The teacher came to mind again and again. Her tender, earnest smile and bright eyes. She radiated joy. Maybe that's what it was, Isabela reasoned. It had been a long time since she thought that grown women could be happy.


	2. Chapter 2

The next day was incredibly long. Both children in school on a rainy day. She ended up watching television most of the day, the old soap operas she used to watch with her mother when she was supposed to be home schooling her. Isabela made a few calls to make sure the party was ready, but mostly she was alone. 

She was so grateful to pick up her children at three that she took them out to a matinee and bought them whatever sweets they wanted. She almost missed the caterer's arrival, but she didn't care. She would go to a crappy children's movie with her babies over any stuck up dinner party.

After seventeen years, Isabela should have been used to it. She had spent nearly half her life as Luis' wife and she had to entertain his business associates for all that time. Generally their wives too, but it was becoming more and more often that she was the oldest woman in the room. Luis' friends had once ogled her and whistled under their breath, but now she was old news. There was always a younger woman, a thinner woman, a blonder woman. She pitied these girls. She half wanted to shake them and warn them what their lives would be like, but she knew it would do no good. She wouldn't have listened when she was their age.

The children made only a brief appearance before being relegated to the playroom. Isabela spent most of the night on Luis' arm, even if he spent most of it eyeing his next affair. She tried to keep her appearance as youthful as possible, but she wasn't the teenager Luis had fallen in love with.

She frowned at the thought. Had he ever really loved her?

A few toasts were had and deals were struck on the side. Isabela was eventually left to be with the other women who spoke only about their latest clothes, some of the latest gossip, and other trivial things Isabela didn't really care about. It wasn't that these women were vapid, but they had been slowly shaped this way. Men like Luis wanted beautiful objects, art. They wanted something pretty that got their libido going again. They didn't need their women to think they could be more than that.

There was a poem she had once liked from her occasional trips to the library, when her mother decided to try to actually teach her something. It was something about women entering and leaving a room, talking about art. The women come and go. In the room, the women come and go?

It didn't matter, really. It was just a poem.

***

A few guests would stay over after dinner parties and Maria always had the beds made perfectly and fresh, plush towels laid out. These nights Isabela hated because it meant that her little sanctuary was snatched away for someone else and that she had to sleep in the same bed with her husband.

He never forced himself on her. She had been eager for sex when she was young even, but the attraction faded over time. Now it was...a chore. Not unpleasant, just something that happened. He had long given up on getting her off and she didn't respect him enough to fake it. 

That night when he initiated, she refused. Luis seemed upset, as she rarely did turn him down, and he kept kissing the back of her neck, his hand reaching between her legs. She pushed him away and rolled to the other side of the bed. 

Frustrated, Luis got up and went to the ensuite bathroom. Isabela did her best to fall asleep before he came back. Best case, he would jerk off and leave her alone. Worst case, he'd come back smelling like another woman. She could handle either. She had before.

She did not know when the affairs stopped bothering her. Early on, if she remembered correctly. After the second year, things started going south. Luis got jealous easily and was particularly irate when she developed a small crush on her fencing instructor. Isabela was forced to quit the sport and most of her other recreational activities for about a year. That year was easily the worst of her life. She felt like a storybook princess, waiting in a tower for her true love to save her.

She had seen the fencing coach, Zevran, twice after. He still had a charming smile and a beautiful figure, but Isabela wouldn't let herself anywhere near him. She couldn't risk Luis seeing them together. She couldn't go through it again.

During that year, Luis had three mistresses. The first broke her heart. The second hurt less, but stung. The third made her realize that Isabela would never be enough for him and it was okay to stop trying to make him pleased with her. 

To her relief, Luis came back and promptly fell asleep. She held her pillow close to her chest, but she could barely close her eyes. She hated this bed. 

***

Picking up the children was easily becoming the best part of her day. She and Merrill would chat for ten minutes, maybe more if she were lucky. The young woman was growing on her, telling her about all the exciting things she was learning in her graduate studies program. Despite knowing that Isabela had barely finished high school, Merrill never spoke down to her and talked to her as an equal. She usually had pictures on her phone of her family and the antics they got up to. Merrill had learned to ask few questions about Isabela's life and she appreciated it. 

After when all three kids were ready to go, Isabela would drive everyone home. She tried offering to pick up Merrill and Tamlen on the way to school, but Merrill had politely refused. One way was enough. Still, Isabela tried to drag the ride out on the days she had to go back home right away. Some days they were able to all go out together to the library or the park or even the neighbourhood pool on the free days. Merrill wouldn't let her pay for them to swim, even though Isabela really wanted to. On those days, they would get home just before dinner. Carmen would usually help and Esteban would nap in his room. These were her favourite days. The only thing that could make them truly perfect was seeing Esteban's teacher in the yard with the children playing. Sometimes Hawke would see her and smile. That beautiful, earnest smile that melted Isabela's heart. 

Those were the best days. 

***

"We should start volunteering," Merrill said.

"Sorry?" Isabela asked.

Merrill brought her legs up on the playground bench and turned to face her. "We should start volunteering. They're looking for parents to get involved at the school. It might be fun. There's the PTA, but that scares me a little, and they're looking for people to go on school trips. That could be fun, Isabela! Hawke told me that they're looking for volunteers to go to the public library with her class. Esteban would love it, Tamlen too. What do you think?"

Isabela looked back on the playground, seeing Carmen pushing Tamlen and Esteban on the swings, alternating between the two. 

"I guess...it might be fun. We could do that."

"Great. I'm seeing Hawke tonight, I'll let her know then."

"I didn't realize that you two were close," Isabela said, trying to sound relaxed.

"Oh yeah. I usually don't get to talk to her at school because of her boss. The Principal really tries to cut down on teachers socializing during work hours and there already was a fight about Tamlen being in her class. I offered to go to a different school, but the next closest one with spots is three bus transfers away. This is only her second year, I didn't want to make a big fuss."

"You're too sweet," Isabela said.

Merrill waved her off. "Just what friends do. I'm glad it's worked out this way."

Isabela admitted, "Me too."

***

The library trip was on a beautiful Thursday afternoon. Isabela showed up early, excited. She introduced herself to the other volunteers but stuck mainly to Merrill. 

Isabela was assigned a small group of children, including Tamlen. She and Merrill had agreed it was probably best not to distract their sons. Tamlen, however, had grown very fond of Isabela and held onto her hand for the entire bus ride over.

Hawke led the group off the bus and did a quick head count, reminding everyone of the buddy system. Tamlen ran to Esteban and they refused to be paired with anyone else. Hawke finally gave up and let the two remain together. 

The librarian started the tour but Isabela was too focused on the four girls she was in charge of. All four were absolutely enamoured with the library and were full of questions, most of which were asked directly to Isabela. Luckily, Isabela had spent so much time in the building, she could answer most of them. 

They finished in the children's section where a few of the technicians were helping the children sign up for their very own cards. Isabela's group was near the back as the girls had gotten distracted at a poster about fossils. Isabela had watched a lot of Discovery Channel while Carmen was nursing and was surprised how much she could tell the kids. She felt almost...proud as the girls chatted more, promising to get together to see one's dinosaur collection.

The children scattered throughout the section and some of the volunteers crawled around with them, playing with the various toys or reading aloud. Isabela saw that Esteban was actually reading to a few of his classmates. Tamlen was turning the pages for him so Esteban could talk excitedly with his hands, just like Luis did. 

One of the girls tugged on her sleeve and Isabela followed her to the Non-Fiction section. She and the others had found a stack of books about paleontology and they needed help with some of the big words. 

She sat with them in the corner and they all leaned in to look at the pictures as she read. One of them, Erica, kept nodding and murmuring, "Interesting..."

"Can I join?"

All of them looked up to see Hawke bending over to peer over the book. Shannon grabbed Hawke's hand and made her sit down beside her. Hawke pulled in close to see the pages and Shannon sat in her lap.

"I see I haven't missed the good parts," Hawke teased.

Hawke's hand accidentally brushed against Isabela's leg and both women slightly jolted away from the other. Isabela tried to ignore it, focusing on solely the book until it was done.

Hawke stood up and sang the "Ten More Minutes" song. The children started cleaning up. There was a little Qunari girl who had nearly a dozen books that she was attempting to stuff in her backpack. Isabela helped her fit them all, her teenage cashiering experience apparently still relevant as an adult. The child gave her a big toothy grin before running off with the others.

They lined up for the bus and Isabela made sure both her charges and the boys were settled in their seats. Merrill was one of the last on the bus, apparently too busy gossiping with another parent to notice they were holding everyone up. 

It was nearly the end of the day when they returned, so the parents just stayed in the classroom as the kids played for awhile. Merrill chatted with the others, leaving Isabela to wander around the classroom, looking at the children's art.

"Mrs. Baquero?"

Isabela jumped slightly, realizing Hawke was calling her. "Yes?"

"I was just hoping I could chat with you for a second," Hawke said. "I saw you earlier with some of the students and I have to say, I was really impressed. You definitely know your stuff! It was really helpful having you along."

"Just a few things from TV, I don't even know if I was right."

Hawke reassured, "You shouldn't doubt yourself, Mrs. Baquero."

"Please, call me Isabela."

Hawke smiled softly. "Okay, Isabela."

The way she said her name left her tingling. She could imagine her moaning it.

Isabela blushed. "Sorry, was there something I could help you with?"

"Well," Hawke said, "we're looking for volunteers who are interested in helping some of our slower readers. I think you'd be great at working one on one with some of my kids. Merrill mentioned you were looking for more opportunities, so, if you'd like, there's an orientation on Tuesday. You should think about it."

Isabela agreed, "Definitely."

Hawke said, "Thank you, I'm really glad you're interested. Hopefully we get to work together a bit more soon."

Isabela murmured, "Me too."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> For a very short period in my life I taught preschool. I feel like anyone else who has taught small children will know immediately what the Ten More Minutes song is. 
> 
> Also, two points if you know which poem I'm referring to without googling it.


	3. Chapter 3

To her disappointment, Hawke had not been at the orientation but Isabela was still happy to volunteer. She ended up being paired with a Third Grader named Sera who was, as her teacher had not so kindly put, a "problem child." Sera couldn't read, spent most of her time making butt jokes, and always managed to create paper airplanes even when all her materials were taken from her.

For three hours a week, Isabela and Sera worked together. Almost instantly, the pair hit it off. Isabela brought her books about human anatomy, the history of weaponry, space adventures, and most importantly, every child's novel that had an archer in it. 

Sera hated pretty much everything about school, but she said that Isabela was "alright." It was the best compliment she ever got.

***

While Isabela had paid little attention in the past to school newsletters beyond when PD Days were happening, she now was gaining interest. She loved working with Sera and was interested in maybe helping another student. Hawke as well always sent a monthly calendar showing what they were going to learn about each week, in case parents wanted to work the theme in their own lives. But usually Esteban immediately took these to put up in his room.

One item in the school wide version had particularly caught her attention and she decided to share it with her husband. 

Luis looked skeptically up from the newsletter. "Career day?"

"It's a school wide event," Isabela explained. "Students are invited to bring in a parent to talk about what they do for a living. All the spots are taken in Esteban's class, but Carmen would really love it if you went to hers."

"Seven year olds don't care about investing," Luis said.

"She just wants you to be there," Isabela argued. "She wants you to be a part of her life. This is a big deal for her. You'll go and spend the afternoon together and you'll get to meet her friends and her teacher. It'd be really good for you both."

"Barely give people a week's notice," Luis grumbled.

"It's only the second month of school. I think they did pretty well considering."

"I can make it work. I'll have to work Saturday afternoon though to make up for it. You owe me one, Isabela. I don't like giving up my weekends."

"I imagine your new intern can spare you for a few hours," Isabela said coolly. 

She brushed past him and he grabbed her wrist.

"Let go," she demanded.

"I don't care for your tone, Isabela. I suggest you watch it."

Luis let go, but the indents still remained in her skin. She rubbed it out as she left the room. Frustrated, she texted Merrill to see if she wanted to get coffee after they dropped the children off. She very cheerfully said yes.

***

Isabela and Merrill strolled down the park trail, Merrill pushing a sleeping Lyna in her stroller. Isabela drank deep into her coffee and glanced over at Merrill, who seemed to be in her own little world.

"So..." Isabela said awkwardly. "You must have been pretty young when you met your husband then."

Merrill smiled. "I was 19. I was just in my second year of university. Varric used to go to this really awful bar called the Hanged Man. I usually didn't go out, but my roommate took me clubbing. Varric was I think 25 then, maybe barely 26. Anyways. We saw each other from across the room and that was it."

"That was it?" Isabela asked.

"It was love at first sight," Merrill sighed dreamily. "My mother was scandalized but he won her over in the end. I finished that year and we got married in the summer. A few months later, we were expecting Tamlen."

"So...you can't be much more than what, 23, 24?"

"24," Merrill confirmed. "Though I'm having my 25th birthday in the New Year. Oh you should come! It would be so much fun. I'm going to have a real dinner party this year. I've never thrown one before."

Isabela suddenly felt a little dirty. 24. That meant Hawke could be anywhere between 20 and 28, but probably was the same age. Andraste, when Isabela had first been married, Hawke would have been about Carmen's age.

"You alright, Isabela?"

"You just make me feel like an old woman," Isabela chuckled. "I'm 35."

"I would never have guessed. It must be that lovely dark skin of yours. Besides, 35 isn't that old. Don't be silly. You are absolutely beautiful."

Isabela felt herself blushing, but luckily that same dark complexion hid it from Merrill.

"So, say you'll come to my birthday. Please?" 

"I will," Isabela promised. 

Lyna stirred awake and Merrill stopped to pick her up. She cooed to her little daughter and said something soft and sweet in Dalish. Isabela's chest tightened. She loved her children utterly, but the thought that she could have had children with someone she loved tore at her. She really liked Merrill, but was so angry. They had been the same age, both married someone older, and while Isabela was miserable, Merrill was besotted. 

Isabela wanted another child, one born into a loving family and raised without fear. She wanted Carmen and Esteban to be happy and safe with another parent who adored them, not one they were skittish around.

Isabela wanted to confess this to Merrill, but she found herself unable to speak. Instead they continued to walk, Isabela pushing the empty stroller while Merrill held her daughter on her shoulder.

***

Carmen had been so nervous the night before Career Day that she had barely slept. Which meant Isabela had barely slept. She was utterly exhausted when she drove Merrill and the children to school. When she dropped Merrill off at the university, she half considered having a nap in the parking lot.

Isabela went home to have a lie down before going back to the school. It wasn't necessary for her to be there for the presentation, but if she was going to pick up her children immediately after, she might as well go along. Luis could collect them on his own, but Isabela knew he wouldn't give Tamlen and Merrill a ride home and most likely would go back to the office the minute he could anyways.

Isabela read in bed for awhile before finally falling asleep. Her alarm woke her in time to refresh her makeup before Luis saw her. They drove over separately but still walked in through the doors together. It seemed silly seeing Luis in the hallways of tiny lockers and low water fountains. Isabela couldn't imagine him as a child. Maybe he was just born like that.

They went to Carmen's classroom where a tall red headed woman close to Isabela's age was standing at the front. A row of chairs were beside her as various parents sat, waiting for their turn to speak. Carmen saw them and her face absolutely lit up. 

"Papa!" 

Carmen ran out to hug her father and he smiled self-consciously. She grasped his hand and led him to the front of the room. The teacher introduced herself to Isabela.

"I've heard all about you, Ms. Vallen," Isabela said. "My daughter thinks the world of you. She's so looking forward to soccer season starting next week."

"Please, call me Aveline. It's nice to meet you too, Mrs. Baquero, but unfortunately I don't have enough space for everyone. I feel bad for asking, but..."

"It's fine," Isabela reassured. "My son's class is just down the hall. I'll pop in there and keep him company."

Isabela waved to Carmen and left the room, going down the hallway. She entered the kindergarten classroom which was covered in gym mats for parents and children to sit on. Esteban saw her and jumped into her arms. She kissed his cheeks and sat down, letting him sit in her lap. Tamlen crawled up and she put her arm around him. 

Isabela looked up at the front of the room. It was set up similarly to Carmen's class with five chairs filled with nervous adults. While she had never actually met one of them in person, she recognized Tamlen's father instantly. 

"That's your pa?" Isabela asked, pointing at Varric.

Tamlen nodded eagerly. "He's going to read us a story!"

Isabela vaguely remembered Merrill telling her that Varric wrote only quite violent detective fiction and quite explicit "romance" novels. She tried not to show her surprise.

The first four presentations were ones that immediately interested young children: a nurse, a firefighter, a police officer, and a librarian. When Varric went up and explained that he was a writer, most of the kids seemed antsy and unimpressed. Then he sat down with them and read from a storybook. It was only a few minutes long, but it was full of dragons and heroes and even the adults were hanging on to his every word. After he finished, everyone applauded and Tamlen looked so proud that his smile could have lit the whole room.

Isabela glanced over to Hawke, who seemed distracted. The teacher thanked them all half-heartedly, but seemed to perk up a little as she spoke to them all one on one and said goodbye to the children heading out the door.

Varric came up and shook Isabela's hand. "You're Esteban's mother. My wife talks about you all the time and my son is over the moon with yours."

"I've heard only but the best things about you," Isabela said sincerely.

"Your husband was speaking to your daughter's class, right? I remember Merrill telling me something about that."

"Yes," Isabela said. "He's heading to work after this though, so once we find Carmen we can head out."

"That's too bad. I was hoping to invite all of you over for dinner. It sounds like it's rare he gets a night off work and it'd be nice to get to know each other better."

Isabela heard her name and turned, seeing Luis in the doorway. Carmen waited just behind him, her backpack and jacket already on. Isabela glanced at the clock. First Graders typically got out about twenty minutes after the kindergarten class and Carmen usually took a notoriously long time to get ready. 

"Time to go," Luis said firmly.

"I'll see you tonight then, love," Isabela said. "You remember my friend Merrill? This is her husband Varric. I'm giving him and Tamlen a lift home."

"I was just saying to your lovely wife that we'll have to have you over for dinner some time since our wives and sons are hitting it off so well."

"That's very kind of you, but I think we'll have to decline," Luis said diplomatically. "My wife is being so hospitable driving your family everywhere. I wouldn't want to impose on your already tight budget."

Varric's face fell slightly, but he recovered. "Nonsense. The offer remains any time. Our schedule is pretty flexible now that Daisy is starting her thesis, so let us know."

"Do you work, Mr. Tethras?"

Varric explained, "I'm a writer."

"You must be adequate at your craft then to let your wife go to school while you raise the children. A brave man to not need the validation of his peers."

Isabela hissed, "Luis."

"Your friend wanted to get to know us a bit better, pet. Nothing wrong with a little ribbing, is there? I'll see you tonight, Isabela. I may be late, so please wish the children good night for me."

Luis left the room and Isabela asked quickly, "Can you stay with them for just a sec?"

Varric nodded and Isabela stormed after Luis as he walked down the halls. 

"That was incredibly rude," she said angrily.

"Please, the man and his wife are taking advantage of you. I've seen men like this. They only make friends that are useful to them, help them get up in the world. Why do you think these two are suddenly interested in us? Because we have money and they've been foolish enough to have children they can't afford and too lazy to work in the real world."

"Why are you being so cruel? I've actually made a friend and you can't even let me have that."

"I am trying to keep you and my son safe from these opportunists," Luis spat. "I give you everything and you try to throw it away to strangers. First they treat you like a personal driver, soon they'll be asking for groceries or for rent. I know his family, Tethras. I've had dealings with his brother before. Scum of the earth. I wouldn't be surprised if the bastard was using his nephew to infiltrate our family. You shouldn't be this naive, Isabela. You're too old for this act."

They reached the parking lot and Luis leaned against his car, smirking. 

"Sometimes you make me think of a little bird," he said almost tenderly, "with beautiful plumage and an enticing voice. My little bird, so confused outside her golden cage. She thinks because she can say the same words as her master it means they are equals, but her voice is only an echo. And remember, my dear Isabela, that all feathers molt."

Without thinking, she threw her purse at his head. He dodged it and grabbed her arm, pulling her to him. He kissed her and she pushed him away. He kicked her open bag away and drove off. Isabela knelt in the asphalt, trying to get her things back together. She noticed someone else's hands helping her and she looked up, seeing Hawke beside her. Once it was all cleaned up, they stood slowly. Isabela realized she was shaking as Hawke held her hands in hers. 

"Are you okay?" Hawke asked.

Isabela lied, "I'm fine. We've just been arguing for a few weeks, I'm sorry. I didn't mean to disturb anyone."

"Are you sure? That looked-"

"I'm fine. Thank you." 

Hawke reluctantly let go of her hands. "I'm sorry then."

"You have nothing to be sorry about," Isabela reassured. "I should go. I guess I'll see you tomorrow then."

Hawke nodded, her beautiful eyes oddly sad. "Tomorrow then."

***

Just before dinner, Isabela got a phone call from Merrill. Varric had told her what had happened and Isabela spent a few minutes reassuring her friend that she was fine. When they ended the call, Isabela felt oddly hopeful. She had argued with Luis a hundred times, but this time she had people in her corner.


	4. Chapter 4

Isabela was in the midst of a session with Sera when a PA came over the system, asking for her to go to the principal's office.

Sera laughed, "Oi, you're in trouble now."

Isabela rolled her eyes. "Go back to Mr. Cousland's classroom. We'll work on this for Friday. You'll finish those chapters."

"Yes, ma'am."

Isabela left the library nook, glancing over the shelves to make sure that Sera was going in the right direction. She went towards the principal's office, hearing two raised voices. Merrill was seated in the waiting area, holding a crying Tamlen on her lap.

"What's going on?" Isabela asked fearfully. 

"It's okay," Merrill reassured. 

Isabela entered the office, seeing Esteban sitting on a couch, Hawke with her arm protectively around him. An older blonde woman with the coldest blue eyes sat across from them, glaring at her son.

The principal looked up dismissively at Isabela. "You finally grace us with your presence, Mrs. Baquero. Did your friend tell you what happened?"

Esteban ran over to Isabela and she picked him up. He buried his face in her neck and started crying.

Hawke explained calmly, "One of the boys in Grade Two decided that Tamlen was too short and were making fun of him. One of them pushed Tamlen and Esteban hit him. Apparently the boy lost a loose tooth."

"Our school has a zero tolerance policy for violence," Principal Meredith explained. "Even if your son is so young, he still faces a week suspension."

"A week?" Isabela asked in confusion. "He's five years old and he was protecting his friend. This is ridiculous."

"I was trying to explain to the principal," Hawke said, "that Esteban is normally a very cheerful young boy and clearly is upset about what happened. I think we should have a meeting with you and Mr. Baquero and figure out the best approach to this."

Hawke glared at Meredith and eventually the principal rolled her eyes. "Fine, have it your way. But if this child does this again, he has no place in my school."

Hawke escorted Isabela and Esteban outside. Once they were out of earshot, Hawke immediately apologized, "I'm so sorry, I didn't get there in time. I was helping Hannah off the swing and-"

"It's okay, everyone is fine," Merrill reassured. 

"It'd be a good idea for us to talk about what happened," Hawke said. "Is there a time that you and Esteban's father can come in? The sooner, the better."

"He's at work right now, but I can find out tonight."

"I can give you my cell number if you like," Hawke offered. "Just give me a text when you know."

Isabela handed over her phone and Hawke added herself as a contact. Her fingers brushed against Isabela's as she gave it back and their eyes met.

"Well," Merrill said awkwardly. "This is not how I thought this day would go."

Isabela whispered, "Hey, Tamlen, do you know a girl named Sera in Third Grade?"

Tamlen confided, "She's scary."

"The next time you're in trouble, you go look for her. She'll run them off," Isabela promised.

Tamlen looked skeptically but nodded.

"You run back to class, da'len," Merrill said softly. "Try to stay out of trouble."

Hawke took the two children by the hand and walked them back to the classroom. 

Isabela sighed, "Luis is not going to like this."

***

In the end, it turned out her husband did not actually care. It was dismissed with "boys will be boys". When Isabela suggested that they pick a time for a parent/teacher meeting, Luis brushed her off and said that if she wanted it to happen, she'd go alone.

Nervously, Isabela texted Hawke, agreeing to meet her the next day after class. 

***

Merrill brought all three children on the bus back to her place and Isabela promised to pick them up as soon as she was done. Isabela waited just outside the classroom until Hawke welcomed her inside.

"Please, have a seat. I'm sorry all my chairs are tiny," Hawke apologized.

"It's fine," Isabela said, sitting down slowly.

"We had a much better day today," Hawke reassured. "Esteban has been behaving like a perfect gentleman, but I still think its best to check in."

"Okay," Isabela said.

"He's a very avid reader and picking up his numbers pretty quickly. He's having some trouble with writing, but I think we'll just have to work on his hand strength a little bit. He's making friends, but he and Tamlen are pretty much inseparable. It's very sweet, but I do worry about next year if they end up in different classes. It might be good to encourage them to make a few other friends as well."

"This all sounds fine. So why did you want to talk to me?"

"Well, Esteban's reaction yesterday still has me concerned, especially since it was so out of character for him and I did promise the principal I would talk to you about it."  
"So..."

"Isabela," Hawke said, "I have to be honest with you. This isn't an easy conversation for me to start, but I would hate myself if I didn't ask."

"What's wrong?"

Hawke looked away and tried again. "Sometimes children mimic the behaviors of their parents, especially at this age. While looking at that moment, Esteban's actions make sense from his point of view. His friend is in trouble, so he should do what he can to help him. But for someone that young to immediately turn to violence is a little concerning. Especially..."

Hawke met her gaze. "I'm sorry, I'm just going to come out and say this. I heard you and your husband's argument last week and Esteban, like every five-year-old, shares a lot about his home life. He sounds like he's really scared of his dad. So I have to ask: is everything okay at home?"

"Fine," Isabela lied, swallowing the word.

"Isabela," Hawke said softly, "if you need help-"

"I said we're fine," Isabela snapped. 

Hawke put her hands up defensively. "I'm sorry, I didn't mean to offend."

"It's okay," Isabela reassured. "My husband is a passionate man. I'll speak to him about how he expresses himself in front of our son. This will not happen again, I promise you."

"I'm not worried about that, I'm worried about you."

Hawke's eyes widened, as if realizing what she had said. Isabela's heart flipped over in her chest. It wasn't possible that Hawke felt whatever this was too, was it?

Hawke regained her composure. "You have my number. If you need anything, please just give me a shout."

"Thank you," Isabela said, standing up. "I should probably go."

Hawke shook her hand, but they both lingered in the gesture, not letting go of the other. Isabela finally pulled away, picking up her purse and walking out the door. 

When she got to her car, she rested her head against the steering wheel, trying not to cry. She had always known that Esteban was nervous around his father, but for a stranger to notice within weeks of meeting him...maybe it was getting worse. There wasn't anything she could say to reassure her son either. His father would never hit him, but he was unlikely to start treating him better. 

Isabela eventually drove over to Merrill's and brought her children back home. She was grateful that Luis didn't come back from the office that night. She thought Carmen and Esteban might be too.

***

It came as no surprise that Esteban was invited to Tamlen's fifth birthday party. The entire Baquero family was, but Luis already had plans for that Saturday afternoon. Carmen wasn't too keen to go, but Isabela had been assured that there were children her age there as well.

Merrill's apartment building had a common room that she had decorated full of balloons, paper flowers, and cut out dragons. Isabela dropped off a present on the table and Esteban ran off to play with Tamlen. Carmen stayed nervously beside her, holding her hand.

"Mrs. Isabela!"

She turned, seeing Sera waving excitedly at her. She ran over and to her surprise gave her a great big hug. Sera suddenly realized what she had done and backed away slightly, looking sheepishly at the ground. Two men came over, one putting his hand affectionately on her shoulder.

"I think we've met before," the blonde said, winking at Carmen. "I'm Anders, the nurse at the school. This is my husband Karl. I didn't realize you were the famous Mrs. Isabela. Sera is always talking about you."

"No I'm not," Sera protested. "Baby Mrs. Isabela, you want to go do something fun?"

Carmen agreed and the pair ran off.

Isabela said, "I had no idea Sera was your daughter, it must be nice having her at the school with you."

Anders said, "Some days. Sera is our foster daughter. She's been between homes since she was four, but she's been with us for...five months?"

"Almost six," Karl said.

"We're trying to officially adopt her, but she's resisting it a little," Anders explained. "I think it's hard for her to really settle down. You've been a great influence on her, really. We're both really thankful."

Karl gave Anders' hand a squeeze. "We should make sure Sera doesn't try to burn the place down. When we first moved into this building, we constantly had a bucket of water on hand. Little fire bug."

"At least that was better than when she tried to get the bees to make a hive in the window to use as her private army," Anders shuddered. "The Tethras live next door to us. Poor Tamlen didn't sleep for a week."

"She's a handful, but she's amazing," Isabela said.

Karl agreed, "She really is. It was nice meeting you."

"You too."

Isabela saw Merrill and excused herself, going over to greet her friend. Merrill positively beamed at her, hugging her tightly.

"This is a lovely party," Isabela said.

Merrill sighed nervously, "I know, I keep waiting for something to go wrong." 

"It'll be fine," Isabela reassured.

"Have you met everyone? Most of the people are friends from the building and a little family. My mother is traveling through Ferelden right now and Varric...well, we don't see a lot of his side anymore. There're a few friends from school too. You've met the Amells, right? Oh, and Hawke's family is here too."

"Her family?" Isabela asked, her mouth drying.

"Oh yes, they've been so good to us over the years. Leandra is like a second mother to me. Hawke has a brother and sister as well, they're just by the punch. They run an auto shop together, but Bethany just took some time off recently to have a baby with her husband. Carver is the growling, pouty one there. We used to date in school, it was very awkward. And there's Hawke herself."

"So Hawke isn't married?" Isabela asked, trying to be subtle.

"No, she hasn't had a lot of serious relationships. Leandra used to bug her about it, but she's just thrilled that she has a grandchild now, she's let it go a bit. Come on, let's go say hello!"

"Oh, I don't think we need-"

"Leandra, this is my new friend Isabela. She's Esteban's mom. Isabela, this is Leandra, Carver, Bethany, Sebastian Junior, and of course you know Hawke."

Hawke paled slightly seeing her. The last time they had spoken, Hawke had asked her if she was an abusive relationship and Isabela had stormed out of the room. If Hawke weren’t slightly uncomfortable, it would have been strange.

Leandra and Merrill talked for awhile, but Isabela and Hawke didn't speak, only gazing at the other. Isabela wasn't sure which one of them walked away first, but without really thinking, they left the party room and went out into the little courtyard in front of it. Isabela turned, making sure she could spot her children, and then returned her attention to Hawke.

"I'm sorry I snapped at you," Isabela apologized. "I was just stressed and I wasn't being very polite."

"No, I'm sorry for being so intrusive," Hawke said. "I get overly invested sometimes with my kids and I'm rather fond of Esteban. And I know we don't know each other really well, but I have to admit, I'd like to. I mean, Merrill says such nice things about you and it sounds like you could use a friend. Sorry, I'm over stepping my bounds again. I just get...foolish sometimes around you."

Hawke winced at her words and Isabela smiled nervously. "I'm not good at making friends either."

"Well," Hawke said. "Maybe we could go see a movie tomorrow? It doesn't sound like you get much time away from the kids, it might be nice to have fun with people your own age."

Isabela wanted to make a joke about the age gap between them, but she was too anxious to. "That sounds nice. I'll check with Luis, but it should be okay."

"Awesome," Hawke said, biting her lip. "So...I'll text you later."

"Sounds good," Isabela said. "I should get back to my kids..."

"Right, of course. I'll, um, yeah."

Isabela was blushing heavily by the time she made it back to the party room, but no one seemed to notice. She hadn't been asked on a date since she was a teenager. Not that this was a date, she had to get that out of her head. Hawke was being nice and maybe felt a little sorry for her. She shouldn't romanticize this. 

Yet, the little fluttering in her stomach made her want to.


	5. Chapter 5

Isabela hadn't seen a movie that wasn't rated G for eight years and let Hawke pick whatever she wanted. It ended up being an action movie with several long car chases that Isabela was surprised to find she enjoyed. She could get behind women being rescued by another woman.

Even though it was late October, it was snowing when they left the theatre. Hawke suggested they get coffee and Isabela was happy to agree, not wanting the afternoon to end. Hawke brought her to a little cafe and Isabela sat across from her, happy to have an excuse to look at her beautiful face.

Hawke talked about her days at university with a nervous energy. She had finished high school and gone straight to post secondary, studying throughout the summer to finished her Early Childhood degree a year early. Then teacher's college and was lucky enough to stumble into a full time job off the bat. 

"How about you?" Hawke asked.

It dawned on Isabela that she should share as well and she stumbled over her words. "I never went to college. When I finished high school, I was working in a jewelry store for about a year or so. I met Luis there. He was a customer and looking for a new watch. He asked me out and well, the rest is history. We got married a few months later."

"Love at first sight?"

Isabela admitted, "No. I was young and there was a handsome older man who was offering to buy me the world. I don't think I understood what it meant to be in love. I just didn't want to be poor anymore and I thought, well, this could be a nice life."

Isabela was shocked by her own honesty. "Sorry, I-"

"No," Hawke said softly. "Tell me more."

Isabela continued, "It's been good, for the most part. I've been able to travel, have nice things, and I have two perfect children. I really have nothing to complain about."

"Except that you don't love your husband."

Isabela whispered, "No, I don't."

"Does he love you?" Hawke asked.

Isabela confessed, "I don't think so. I think he wanted me because I was young and beautiful. And now I'm not either."

Hawke's face fell. "How can you say that about yourself? You're...you're gorgeous. You might be the most gorgeous woman I've ever seen in my life. I don't know how you don't take his breath away whenever you walk into a room."

Hawke blushed. "Sorry, I, that was-"

"I haven't had anyone compliment on my looks since before Carmen was born," Isabela said, smiling nervously. "I don't mind."

Isabela hesitated before putting her hands on the table. Hawke's fingers brushed against hers before she pulled away again.

They talked for almost an hour even as their drinks grew cold. Not wanting to say goodbye, Isabela suggested they go for a walk. 

They wandered through the park even as the sun was beginning to set. They hit a muddy section of the trail and Hawke held her hand, helping Isabela step over it. Even when the path was clear, Isabela didn't let go. 

They came to a bridge passing over the creek and they stopped, leaning over the rails to look out at the ocean. The sun was nearly set and the streetlights were just slowly brightening. Hawke turned towards her and brushed her wind blown hair from her eyes. Isabela's heart raced at her touch.

Hawke leaned forward, her hand now on Isabela's waist. Isabela thought she might faint. Was this happening? Was this real? This couldn't be.

Hawke kissed her, her hand running through Isabela's dark, curly hair. Isabela forgot everything else but the woman holding her. It was the most loving kiss she had ever had and the feel of her lips against hers left her with a deep ache.

Hawke pulled away and whispered, "I'm sorry. I shouldn't have done that."

Hawke wiped Isabela's tears away with her thumbs. "I'm sorry."

Isabela murmured, "Don't be."

"I can't think straight around you," Hawke admitted. "I know you're married and I'm not the type to sneak around, but...you feel this too, don't you?"

"I do," Isabela confessed, shivering in the cold.

Isabela wanted to kiss her so badly, but knew that anyone could see them. Luis was still upset about a crush she had fifteen years ago. If he realized that she was falling in love with someone else...she didn't know what he might do to her or Hawke.

"I can't," Isabela whispered, once again beginning to cry. 

"You shouldn't be scared of your husband," Hawke pleaded. "You could leave him. Even if it's not for me, you deserve to be happy."

"I should go," Isabela said.

"Okay," Hawke said, wiping away her own tears. "I'm sorry."

Isabela walked down the dark path by herself and found her car. She turned on the radio, playing it loudly on the way back home. Security let her in and she pulled into the driveway. When she stopped her car, she could hear someone even over the din of the radio. She locked up and hurried inside.

Luis was shouting, stomping around the living room. Carmen and Esteban were hiding under the table while he cursed at them. The scene stopped as all three noticed Isabela had walked in.

Luis only glared at her as she moved herself in between them, coaxing her children out from under the table. She kissed them both and told them to go to the playroom, whispering to lock the door. 

Once they were out of the room, Luis snarled, "Do you know what your son was doing? He got into my office and started drawing on paperwork. If that wasn't bad enough that I had to reprint a 60 page document, you should see what he decided was a harmless little doodle."

Luis held up the crumpled piece of paper. In crayon, Esteban had drawn him and Tamlen in a house with a dog. Carmen and Isabela were outside tanning under a smiling sun. Esteban had drawn a big heart over him and Tamlen.

Luis tore it apart. "My son is spending too much time with that boy and his mother. This is your influence. You want to make him a little girl, your little doll to play with. He's not seeing that little half-breed again, do you hear me? We're transferring schools. I've always said the kids should go to a private school, meet the right people. Your daughter has started hanging out with a homeless elven girl, did you know that? The girl got thrown out of her school for setting curtains on fire and now Carmen thinks she's the greatest thing to walk the earth. Both my children have no idea what is right and proper. We're going to change that."

"It's just a drawing," Isabela protested. "He likes his friend and he thinks he's part of his family. It's sweet."

"But I'm not there? His father isn't part of his family! You've poisoned them against me, Isabela. They think I'm an ogre and that you're this perfect little angel. Maybe Carmen wouldn't think so highly of you when she finds out more about her mother."

"You could tell her every dirty secret about me and it would pale in comparison to you," Isabela muttered.

Luis threw her up against the wall, holding her arms above her head.

"My dirty, filthy wife," he groaned into her ear. "Should I punish you? Maybe that would make me feel better."

"Let me go," she ordered.

He released her wrists. "What's gotten into you? You never say no to sex and you've been pushing me away for weeks. There's someone else, isn't there?"

"You're drunk," she said angrily. "Go to bed."

"I only ask two things of you," he hissed. "To be a good mother and to be a good wife. You're destroying our children and you're refusing me. You're hitting your limits, Isabela. Something is going to change."

He left the room and Isabela raced upstairs, unlocking the playroom. The children looked up at her fearfully and she led them into her room, locking that door. She placed a chair under the handle and pulled them into bed with her. Isabela sheltered them both against her, rubbing their arms and backs.

"I don't like pa," Carmen whispered. "Do we have to stay here? Can't we live with Merrill and Varric?" 

"Is pa mad at me?" Esteban whimpered.

Isabela kissed Esteban's forehead. "No, kitten, he's just not having a good day. It'll be better tomorrow, I promise."

Once she was sure that Luis was asleep, she brought her sleeping children back to their own rooms, tucking them in. She went back to her little studio and took her cell phone off the end table. She thought about phoning someone. Hawke was out of the question. Maybe Merrill. But she didn't want to worry her.

Eventually she put her phone back in the drawer and shut out the lights.


	6. Chapter 6

To her relief, Luis had forgotten most of the encounter by the morning. But he had been right. Something needed to change. So Isabela decided to get a job. Just a few hours a week to start, but she needed to start putting money aside. She didn't know exactly what she wanted to do, but she wanted to have some security.

Merrill knew a girl in her program whose wife owned a flower shop. The owner, a jolly woman who went by Amell, was more than pleased to have Isabela on as an apprentice. Isabela felt silly. She hadn't worked in decades and Amell had much more experience, even at her young age. But Amell was patient and encouraging. Tuesday mornings after she dropped off the children, she would go and help at the counter as well as making a few of the simpler arrangements.

By the end of the month, Isabela worked Tuesday and Thursday morning and was now volunteering with a second child at the school two days a week. Merrill suggested that she might start building a resume. Isabela tried, but found the task depressing and gave up on it quickly.

December began and the night of Merrill's dinner party was upon them. Amell and her wife Morrigan were actually going as well, but Amell insisted that Isabela make the flowers Varric had ordered for Merrill. It was a simple bouquet full of wildflowers including, at Varric's insistence, heaps of daisies.

Merrill and Varric did not have a large apartment, but they had space enough for their dozen guests if some ate at the table, some on the couch, and a few even on the floor. The children were in Varric's study, which was really a playroom that Varric had hastily added a desk too. Carmen and Sera were "officially" in charge, but even her own fathers did not exactly trust her in caring for the younger three. 

Merrill introduced a few new faces to Isabela. There was a very solemn elf named Fenris whose face lit up the moment he saw Tamlen and Lyna. Carmen's teacher Ms. Vallen, who had apparently gone to college with Varric. And a few others, she didn't catch their names. The Theklas were there too, as well as of course the Amells. All of them were kind and didn't even ask how she knew Merrill. It seemed that the woman, despite her insistence that she was bad at making friends, charmed people from all walks of life. Isabela was not surprised.

Hawke arrived last, kicking the snow from her boots. Isabela looked away, uncomfortably. It was one thing to see the woman a few seconds each day, but now they would be required to interact. 

Varric called everyone to attention, tapping on the side of his glass. "A toast. To my beautiful wife, Merrill."

He gazed at her lovingly and took her hand in his. "Thank you for being on this earth the same time that I am. Thank you for spending another of your years with me. I love you."

He presented her with the bouquet and Isabela felt oddly proud when she smiled. 

Hawke and Varric served dinner, refusing to let Merrill get out of her chair. Isabela fell into conversation easily with Anders and the two chatted throughout dinner until it was Isabela's turn to watch the kids.

Isabela entered the study to find Hawke dressed up as a dragon, fending off Tamlen and Esteban. Lyna had a paper crown on her head, even though she was half asleep. Carmen and Sera were pretending to be sports commentators as the battle went on.

"Changing of the guard," Isabela apologized.

The children protested as Hawke took off her dragon gloves. "Sorry guys, I got to go spend time with the adults now. I think it's time for the little princess to go to bed."

Hawke left with Lyna and Isabela set up the DVD player for them. They ended up watching something silly and animated until the boys fell asleep. Isabela tucked them into Tamlen's bed and let the girls finish the movie on their own.

When she came back into the living room, Hawke was gone. Isabela asked where she was and Merrill informed her that she had just left. Without thinking, Isabela grabbed her coat and ran down the stairs, hoping to catch her.

Hawke was just getting into her car when Isabela saw her. Hawke got back out, leaning against the door. Isabela reached her and kissed her softly. Hawke moaned into her mouth, holding her protectively to her. Hawke held her face in her hands.

"I've missed you," Isabela admitted. "Every day."

"Me too," Hawke whispered. "But nothing's changed."

"Things have," Isabela promised. "I've gotten a job and Luis agreed to let me go to a night class in floral decor. After I get my certificate, Amell is going to offer me full time work. I'm putting money aside. I can't...I don't know what's going to happen, Hawke, but I'm trying."

"You're...you're going to leave him."

Isabela admitted, "I'm going to try. But until then, we have to be careful. Luis is a powerful man and he knows a lot of people. I would never forgive myself if something happened to you. So...so be patient with me. Please."

Hawke kissed her, pulling apart at the sound of someone clearing their throat. They both turned, seeing Ms. Vallen leaving the building, putting her hand in front of her face.

"I didn't see anything but it would be bad if I didn't see anything again. You understand what I'm saying? Because someone else might see something."

"Yes," Hawke said, trying to regain her composure. "Thanks, Aveline." 

"I should go back upstairs," Isabela said.

"Listen," Hawke said. "It's Family Day next Monday and school will be closed. I was wondering, maybe, you, me, and the kids could go to this craft festival thing the library is having. It might be fun and I'd like to get to know them better if...well, you know."

Isabela smiled. "I'd like that."

"Great," Hawke said, rubbing the back of her neck.

Isabela sneaked a quick peck before running back up the stairs. She tried not to giggle or grin too hard. 

***

Esteban adored his teacher and it was not difficult convincing him to spend the day with her. Carmen was a little skeptical, but liked Hawke generally so she went along with it. She even smiled when they met up at the library, though she ducked slightly behind Isabela.

Esteban wasn't interested in a lot of the paper crafts until he saw a cartoon station where he could cut and paste pictures together to make stories. He dragged Carmen over and the two spent over an hour working on a superhero story. Hawke and Isabela helped at first, but the two decided they wanted to make it a surprise and pushed them away.

Instead, they went to the next table and started making friendship bracelets. Hawke was much better at it and finished hers for Isabela quickly. Isabela put it on, shifting her silver bangle. Isabela ended up making a rather bumpy one for Hawke, but Hawke seemed incredibly pleased with it. 

The kids came over then, showing off their story. It was six pages of drawings and magazine cut outs that depicted Isabela becoming a Queen and shooting fire out of her eyes. The fire was accompanied with Esteban's scrawled "sizzle" all over the page. Isabela ended up taking out a book just to keep it flat on the way home.

Hawke offered to take them out for lunch and they went to a pizza place a few blocks away. Hawke encouraged the kids to get whatever toppings they wanted and they ended up with a double pineapple pizza with triple cheese. It wasn't as bad as it sounded, but the adults ended up eating a lot less than the children did.

Esteban was getting sleepy and they decided to go over to Merrill's. Hawke sat in the back to continue her conversation with Carmen, the two talking rapidly about a video game that they both played. 

Once they got upstairs, Isabela laid Esteban down for a nap beside a sleeping Tamlen. Carmen curled on the couch with Merrill to watch their soap opera. Lyna babbled on her father's knee as he balanced his laptop on the other one.

"I think I left my phone in Varric's study," Hawke said innocently. "Isabela, could you help me look for it? They all look too comfortable to move."

Isabela walked to the office, her heart pounding in her chest. Once they were inside and the door was closed, Hawke kissed her hard, pushing her against the wall. Isabela stifled a moan, wrapping her arms around her neck. Hawke let her back down gently.

"Sorry, I've wanted to kiss you all day, I needed to get it out," Hawke whispered.

Isabela rested her forehead against hers. "Me too."

"Do you think they like me?"

"My kids? Are you kidding, they love you," Isabela reassured, brushing her hair from her face. "They're both so relaxed around you. Especially Carmen and she normally takes awhile to warm up to people."

"This is what it could be like," Hawke murmured, nuzzling into her neck. "We could be happy, all four of us. We don't need a lot, just our family."

Isabela's throat tightened. "I hope so."

"I don't have a lot of money," Hawke said sheepishly, "it'd be tight."

"I grew up poorer than a Chantry mouse," Isabela teased. "Give me a roof over my head and three square meals a day and I'm all yours."

"I think I can handle that."

Isabela said quietly, "I'm...I'm meeting with a lawyer tomorrow to talk about how I would go through a divorce. I signed some paperwork when we first got married, so I don't know how much I'd get from Luis. But I need to make sure he doesn't get custody of them."

"Do you want me to go with you?"

Isabela shook her head. "We shouldn't see each other for awhile, just in case. Actually, I'm going with Anders. He and Karl have been seeing a lawyer to get Sera's paperwork through. Apparently the woman is an expert on custody agreements and it'll look like I'm going to support him, so that's good."

"Okay," Hawke murmured. "Let me know."

Hawke said loudly, "Look, found it! Thanks, Isabela."

"No problem, Hawke!"

They exited the room, all four people on the couch looking up to look at them. Carmen raised an eyebrow in an almost perfect copy of her mother.

Isabela heard Esteban's voice and she went into Tamlen's room, bringing both children back out into the living room. After snack time, Isabela bundled her kids back up and settled them into the car.

"Why isn't Ms. Hawke coming?" Esteban asked.

"She's going to help Merrill around the house a little. She'll go back tonight."

"She's not having dinner with us?" Carmen asked. "I thought she was."

"Maybe next time," Isabela reassured.

"Mama."

"Yes, Carmen?"

"Some people have two moms, right?"

Isabela said slowly, "Right."

"I thought so," Carmen said, looking back out the window.

Isabela tried not to smile as they pulled out of the parking lot.


	7. Chapter 7

**Warning for some dub-conny sex only in that Isabela agrees but isn't enthusiastic. If she had said no, it wouldn't have happened. Just tossing that out there.**

Most of the hour with the lawyer had washed over her. She was grateful to have Anders there to take notes and ask the questions she should have. She had signed an agreement when she married Luis that she would receive exactly 100,000 dollars if they divorced and an extra 50,000 for each child they had. Luis had meant it as a pittance, but Isabela saw it as a fortune. She had been technically a millionaire, but she had never been able to spend any of it on her own. While the lawyer reminded her that now she would be responsible for her own finances, a weight was lifted from her shoulders. They wouldn't be destitute. With some careful budgeting, she might be able to easily send both children off to school and put a decent down payment on a house. The thought filled her with pride. Carmen and Esteban could have the education she never had and she could own property. She had never owned anything worth more than a hundred dollars or so. Luis paid for everything and he made sure everything was in his name.

In regards to custody, the court would most likely rule in her favour. She could have multiple character witnesses on her behalf and if she would make statements regarding Luis' abusive nature towards her, Esteban, and Carmen, it would only help her case. 

Upon leaving the office, Anders offered for them to move in with his family temporarily, but Isabela reassured him that it wasn't the right time yet. She wanted to finish her course, which would only be a few more months, and by that time the children would be off for the summer, which would make moving easier. While June seemed so far away, she could survive until then unless something dramatically changed. And if it did, she would take him up on it. Satisfied, Anders let her take him out to lunch.

***

Isabela had so many plans for the children during their winter holidays. Sera had convinced Carmen that yurt camping was the most fun thing ever so they had a few days booked just outside Kirkwall for both her family and the Theklas. Isabela would have to throw a few more parties for Luis' friends, but they seemed less and less a chore now that she was so happy. The only trouble was taking the odd night off from her course, but her instructor was very understanding. 

Yet on the first day off when Esteban told all his plans excitedly to his father over breakfast, Luis asked Isabela quietly if she would join him in the other room.

Isabela entered his home office nervously and he sat behind his desk.

"Now, I've been patient," he said coolly. "I've barely been seeing the children in the afternoons with them visiting these new friends of theirs. Now you want to spend a week with these men that I've never met. I would like to spend some time with them."

"It's four days," Isabela said, "and I asked you if you wanted to come along, remember? But you said you couldn't go somewhere without the Internet for that long."

Luis sighed, "If you want to get away, fine. I can take two days off work. We'll go to Ostwick or something. You can do some shopping and I'll take the kids fishing."

While Isabela could imagine Carmen enjoying fishing, she suspected Esteban would start bawling if he realized it involved killing something.

"Why not longer?" Isabela asked. "You go off all the time all over Thedas-"

"For business trips."

"Your children have never been outside the Free Marches," Isabela said. "They should at least go back to Rivain once, see where they come from."

Luis paused. "That's not a terrible idea. Tell you what, when they're finished school in June, let's go to Rivain for two weeks. Maybe they can meet your mother."

Isabela tried not to shudder. "I don't think that would be a good idea."

"Well, you wanted to see where they came from. I think a prison would make the point just nicely. Or were you imagining something more scenic?"

"We'll go to Ostwick," Isabela said quietly.

"Good girl. Maybe I can do four days, see if I can get a meeting with the Trevelyans while I'm there. They have a boy about Carmen's age, maybe the pair will hit it off. They're a bit young for an engagement, but in a few years."

"You'd...sell off your daughter for a business deal?"

"Why not? Your mother sold off you."

Isabela slapped him and Luis stood, his eyes narrowing. She tried to catch her breath as he walked around the desk to take her hands in his.

"There, there," he murmured. "That was unkind of me. I just want the best for them. And for you. There's no need to look at the past, is there?"

He embraced her and she tried to soften, but she was too scared. He moved her arm, sliding her hand between his legs. She felt him hardening and she felt only disgust. Luckily, he was too busy groaning into her ear to notice. 

"Papa?"

The two pulled apart as Esteban toddled into the room.

"Are you coming camping with us?" He asked excitedly.

"Mama and I are just working that out now. I think we might go to a nice hotel and watch TV and have lots of pizza. Doesn't that sound nice?"

Esteban's face fell. "But Mr. Thekla was going to teach me-"

"Which one?" Luis laughed. "Never mind, pet. We're going to have all sorts of fun. Tell you what, I'll take the morning off and we'll go to the toy store, all four of us. Mama and I are just going to finish up in here."

Esteban looked to Isabela and she murmured, "Go on then, kitten. We'll be out soon."

Luis closed the doors behind his son, locking them. He undid his belt and bent Isabela over his desk. He pulled her skirt over her hips and she pushed her underwear down. He moaned as he thrust into her. She thought of Hawke's smile, her lips on hers, and she relaxed slightly, almost enjoying the sensation. 

He finished quickly, sputtering into her. She fixed her clothes and smoothed out her hair as he caught his breath. He kissed her quickly.

"Let's have another baby," he murmured. "You were so happy when they were small." 

"We'll talk about it after the holidays," she promised, kissing him lightly.

She left the office and went to clean up in the washroom. She redid her makeup, trying to relax her chest. She then phoned Anders and explained what had happened, trying to keep her voice steady.

"Are you alright?" He demanded. "If he's hurt you-"

"I'm fine," Isabela promised. "I'll phone you next week. You guys should go ahead and have fun. Tell you what, I won't cancel our reservation. You should take the Tethras. It's all my treat. I might as well spend it while I've got it."

Anders said, "Okay...thank you. Text me if you need anything. You should phone Merrill too, she's worried about you." 

"What do you mean, "while I've got it", pet?"

Isabela turned to face Luis and said calmly, "Just living in the moment, darling. You don't mind do you? I didn't want to be so rude to them."

She kissed his neck and he smiled. "Eager so soon?"

"Maybe tonight," she suggested. "Why don't we get ready to go out this morning? The kids will be so happy."

Isabela would keep her cool throughout the morning, though inwardly she was freaking out. If she weren’t careful, she'd give herself away. Only texts from now on, and only if she deleted them after. And she might have to continue to sleep with him until they left, if only to have that extra leverage against him. She could handle that. 

In the afternoon Luis went to work and Isabela took the kids to the movies. She wasn't kidding when she said she was going to spend it while she could. Her children were going to have to cut down after the divorce, so she might as well spoil them now. 

***

Ostwick was lonely. Luis insisted on spending quality alone time with his children and Isabela worried for them constantly. They told her at night that they were mainly bored because their father kept going to talk to other adults, but they got to pick where they went to lunch and Dad gave them fifty dollars a day to spend on whatever they wanted.

Isabela on the other hand was relegated mostly to the hotel. She went swimming a lot and watched the Rivaini channels, seeing the same soap opera stars from when she was a child.

She glanced at her phone from time to time, thinking of phoning Hawke. Eventually, she caved in, but Hawke didn't answer. Isabela was too scared to try again.

After the trip, Luis insisted that they cancel the rest of their holiday plans. Trying to keep the peace until the children were back in school, Isabela agreed. Carmen refused to talk to her for a whole week.


	8. Chapter 8

_I personally listen to the same song on repeat when I'm writing a sex scene. I thought since I named this fic after a line in this one, let's all listen to some Sarah McLachlan and get our sapphic on_

When the next term began, Luis backed off slightly, letting the children have their friends over even if he refused to let Esteban and Carmen visit their homes. Sera had spent exactly one sleepover on her absolutely best behaviour but according to Anders didn't want to come back because the place felt "icky." Tamlen was allowed to come one afternoon a week if Luis was home. Isabela felt powerless to intervene. She needed Luis to agree to watch the kids while she went to her classes. 

The first month went by slowly. Isabela was only really able to talk to Merrill and while she was good company, she deeply missed Hawke. A few glances or the odd hello once a week was not enough. 

One Saturday, Luis joined them for breakfast. Both children were jittery around him and were unusually quiet. 

Luis announced, "Esteban, Carmen, I have some exciting news for you."

Both of them looked up from their cereal. Carmen shot her mother a panicked look before turning her attention to her father.

"Your Aunt Therese has offered for you to come and stay with her in Starkhaven for a week. Won't that be nice? There's a really lovely school there that I think you might do really well at. If everything goes well, you can transfer after March Break."

Isabela dropped her coffee cup in shock. Luis glared at her and she started cleaning it up. 

"Why?" Esteban asked.

"It's a really nice school and it'll give you a chance to meet lots of nice new people."

"But what about our friends here?" Carmen asked.

"You'll make new friends, sweetheart. You'll love it, I promise. But we'll let you have a look first. Aunt Therese will be so happy to have you."

"But term just started," Isabela insisted. "Why not wait until the fall?"

"A few places have just opened up. We don't want to lose this opportunity!"

Carmen started to cry. "I don't want to."

Isabela hugged her daughter. "You don't have to, kitten. But it'll be nice to visit your Aunt, right? You haven't seen her in years, she'll be so excited to see how big you've gotten. Do you remember that nice dog she had?"

Carmen hiccupped, nodding. 

"Excellent," Luis said, finishing his coffee. "Isabela, if you don't mind packing their bags while they're at school? I've already phoned ahead to the airport that there will be two unaccompanied minors so we'll just drop them off when they're finished their classes."

"Mama's not coming?" Carmen asked fearfully.

"No, sweetheart, your mother is too busy here," Luis reassured, "but you can call us both any time. You're going to have so much fun!"

"Darlings, will you go brush your teeth?" She asked. "Your father and I need to talk."

They both abandoned their breakfasts and rushed up the stairs. Isabela threw her hands up and Luis held her at arm's length.

"This will be good for us," he reassured. "You and I have been doing really well lately, we'll get to reconnect. Maybe start on baby number three, like we talked about. Don't worry about the kids."

"You want them to go to a private school in a different city," she hissed. "How could you not talk to me about this?"

"I didn't want you to get upset, darling."

Isabela pulled away from him. "I need to pack."

"It's cold in Starkhaven this time of year," he reminded as she stomped up the stairs. 

***

Isabela had nearly cried herself dry by the time she picked up her children from school. Luis sat beside her in the car, squeezing her knee as he drove. Both Carmen and Esteban were quiet, holding hands in the backseat.

Luis set them up with the flight stewardess and Isabela could only watch helplessly as her children walked away with her. Luis put his arm around Isabela and led them back to the car.

"Let's go out tonight," Luis offered. "Anywhere you want."

"I have class in an hour," Isabela said hoarsely.

"You could skip it for once, right? I mean, how hard is it to put some flowers in a vase. You're a smart girl, you don't need a class for that."

"Let's go out tomorrow night," she said. "That way I can dress up."

"Tomorrow's not going to work for me, but I'll chat with my girl when I get home. Sometime this week, definitely."

Isabela stayed quiet until they returned to the house and she got into her own car. She drove until she left Hightown and pulled into a convenience store parking lot. She stopped the car and grabbed her phone with shaky hands. She called Hawke and thankfully, she picked up.

"Isabela, are you okay? What's wrong?"

"Can I come over?" Isabela whispered.

"Of course. I'll see you soon."

***

Hawke's apartment looked exactly what a single twenty something's apartment should look like. There was a mishmash of furniture, probably picked up from thrift stores over the years. There was no television, just a laptop sitting on a chair.

Isabela sat on the worn sofa, shivering. Hawke returned with two mugs of tea and sat them down on the table. She held Isabela close to her, wrapping a knit blanket around her.

"What happened?" Hawke asked. 

"Luis is transferring them to a private school in Starkhaven," Isabela whispered tiredly. "During the March break. He put them on a plane tonight so they can visit it. They'll be gone for a week. Luis is hoping this will give us some time together because he seems to think I'll be content if I have another baby. I can't wait any longer, Hawke. I have to leave him."

"Okay," Hawke said. "Then we'll make a plan. You said a week? Good. We'll see your lawyer, get all the papers you need. I'll clean out my spare room and get a bunk bed for the kids until we can figure something better out."

"You don't have to-"

"Isabela, I love you," Hawke confessed. "Whatever I need to do, I'll do it." 

Isabela was stunned. "You...you do?"

"I really do," Hawke said, holding her face in her hands. 

Isabela kissed her and they both sighed.

"You don't have to go home tonight," Hawke reassured. "Stay here with me."

Isabela shook her head. "I told him I was at class. If I'm not home by ten, he'll start to suspect. I want to wait until they get home...but I'm so scared to."

Hawke kissed her. "Then we have a little bit of time."

The kiss grew heated and Isabela touched Hawke's chest tentatively, cupping her breast in her hand. Hawke sighed, kissing down her neck.

"I've only ever been with Luis," Isabela confessed. 

"We don't have to do anything tonight," Hawke said.

"I want to," Isabela murmured. 

Hawke kissed her ear and whispered, "Then let me take care of you."

Hawke stood up and offered her hand. Isabela took it and let Hawke lead her to the bedroom. Isabela sat on the edge of the bed and Hawke knelt between her legs. She kissed her calves through her tights, making her way slowly up her thigh. Hawke slowly tugged down her leggings, gently sliding them off. She kissed her bare skin before sliding her fingers around Isabela's panties and gliding those off too. 

"You are so beautiful," Hawke whispered, kissing her upper thighs. 

Isabela hitched her breath as Hawke kissed her sex lightly. Hawke's tongue licked her clit slowly and Isabela arched her back. Hawke teased her with soft strokes as Isabela took off her blouse and bra, tossing them on the ground. Hawke kissed her thighs before shimmying Isabela's skirt off. 

"Please," Isabela begged.

Hawke kissed her folds tenderly, licking up her slit. She dipped her tongue inside of her and Isabela moaned, feeling herself growing wet. Hawke thrust her tongue deep into her, her nose brushing against her clit. Hawke pushed her thighs down as she sunk into her. Isabela arched her back, her body tensing. She gasped, running her hands through Hawke's hair.

Pleasure broke through her and she cried out. She grinded against Hawke's face and she kept going, bringing Isabela through another shattering climax. Hawke withdrew, kissing her thighs once more.

Hawke rose, discarding her own clothes. Isabela looked at her lover's body in adoration. She had never looked that cute, even when she was in her twenties. Isabela brought her down into the bed with her and they kissed hungrily.

"I don't know what I'm doing," Isabela confessed.

Hawke smiled against her neck. "I can take care of me, just hold me."

Hawke's hand dipped between her own legs and she stroked herself, sliding her fingers inside slowly. Isabela kissed her, pressing herself against her skin. Isabela wrapped herself as close to her as she could, Hawke's hand brushing against Isabela's swollen sex as she pleasured herself.

Isabela whispered in her ear, "I love you." 

Hawke whispered her name again and again as she came. Isabela gripped her hips and ass, bringing her close to her. Hawke groaned, kissing her tenderly as she withdrew her hand.

Naked and sweaty in each other's arms, Isabela felt completely at peace. Hawke pulled a blanket around them and they snuggled into the other. 

Hawke ran her hand down her hip. "You are so gorgeous right now."

"I look like a mess," Isabela giggled. "I should probably clean up before I go home."

"It's only nine, we've got some time left."

"You wore me out," Isabela said. "I don't have your stamina."

"We'll build it up," Hawke teased. "After this week, we've got all the time in the world. Just a few more nights."

"Are you sure?" Isabela asked.

Hawke reassured, "I've never been so sure in my life. I'll get the place ready. You just give me the word and I'll be there."

Isabela kissed her and Hawke cradled her in her arms. They stayed like that until Isabela absolutely had to leave. 

Luis luckily was busy in his office, letting Isabela sneak away to bed. She slept better than she had in years, imaging the life ahead of her. For the first time in a long time, she felt hopeful.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I may have watched Carol last week...


	9. Chapter 9

Those were the longest six days of her life. Being stuck in the house made it easier at least for her to discreetly pack. She didn't have a lot of mementos, but the few things she cared for were hidden in a suitcase under the bed. Under the disguise of wanting to give the children new wardrobes for school, Isabela packed away a week's worth of clothes for each of them as well as a few beloved toys. 

Luis seemed pleased enough that she was staying home that he generally left her alone. She was utterly relieved. Using sex to distract him had been fine before, but now that she had been with Hawke, she couldn't go back to mediocre rutting with someone she hated. 

In the hours before they had to pick up the children, Isabela prayed. This was the most crucial moment. All the supports in her life had prepared secretly for the next twenty-four hours. If Luis suspected anything, everything would fall apart.

When they got to the airport, Luis received a phone call and he walked off, chatting in a quiet space while Isabela waited. When she saw Carmen and Esteban walking towards her, she ran, scooping both of her children in her arms. 

Esteban started crying. "Mama, I don't want to go there again. Please don't make me go. I want to stay here with you."

Carmen agreed, "Aunt Therese is really mean, Mama, and everyone there is no fun. I missed you and I missed Sera and I missed Aunt Merrill and-"

Carmen trailed off, seeing Luis come back to them. The children both stiffened slightly as their father hugged them. Luis picked Esteban up and Carmen took Isabela's hand, making them walk slowly behind them.

"You're not going to let him, are you?" Carmen whispered.

"No," Isabela whispered back, "but we have to be very quiet, kitten."

Carmen didn't say anything until they got to the car. Luis took them out for dinner, upset by how sad his children looked. Even throughout the meal, Carmen faked a smile and Esteban held back his tears. It seemed to be enough to appease him and finally they went back to the house.

Luis got another phone call and Isabela went into the playroom with her children. She closed the door and brought them over to the reading corner. She sat down, pulling Esteban into her lap. Carmen curled into her side.

"How would you like to move?" Isabela asked quietly. "Just the three of us."

"No Dad?" Esteban asked.

"No Dad. We'd live with Hawke in her home. What do you think?"

Carmen's face lit up. "Is she going to be our other mom?"

Isabela put her finger to her lips and Carmen went quiet.

Carmen whispered, "I don't want to live with Dad anymore."

Esteban shook his head. "He's mean. I want to live with Tamlen."

"You can't live with Tamlen, sweetie, but you could visit him everyday now and he could come to your place."

Esteban pouted. "Okay."  
Isabela said, "You can't say anything to Dad, okay? We're all going to go to bed now and I'm going to leave tonight. But you have to go to bed and be very quiet. Can you both do that?"

They both nodded excitedly.

"Okay, go brush your teeth," she murmured. 

***

Isabela stayed up late watching TV and keeping an eye on Luis. When he finally went to bed, she snuck back up to her room and started loading her car. Four suitcases in total, each stuffed. Each time she moved slowly, making sure she wasn't heard. It was nearly two am when she was done. She pinned the note to the fridge before going back upstairs.

Carmen wasn't asleep but reading under the covers with a flashlight. Isabela signaled her quietly to follow. Carmen grabbed her school bag, which was brimming with books and stuffed animals, and took Isabela's hand. 

She went next to Esteban's room. He was startled when she woke him, but eventually let her pick him up. Carmen picked up his school bag and his pillowcase as the actual pillow had been removed and was now just a slip full of comics.

Isabela got them all into the car and drove out ever so slowly, waving to the security officer. He looked confused, but waved back.

Isabela drove as carefully as she could to Hawke's apartment building, texting her that she was there. Hawke and Anders came downstairs and helped her bring their things into the apartment. Hawke carried a sleeping Esteban into their new bedroom and Carmen followed, looking around skeptically at the place. Isabela tucked her into her new bed and kissed her goodnight.

Isabela sat on the couch, shaking. Hawke sat beside her, holding her close. Anders sat across from them.

"I've contacted your lawyer," Anders explained. "Luis will get served his papers in the morning. You'll have to go to court a few times this week to establish custody, but Merrill is going to go with you. It's going to be okay."

Isabela started crying and Hawke kissed her hands.

"All the doors are locked and I've told my superintendent not to let anyone in she doesn't know for the next few days. It's going to be okay, Bela," Hawke promised.

Isabela nodded. "Can we go to bed?"

"I'll phone in the morning," Anders promised. "Try to get some rest."

Isabela went into Hawke's room and curled into the blankets. Hawke lay beside her, stroking her arm. Esteban started crying and Isabela rose, picking up her son from his little twin bed. Esteban nuzzled into her and she rubbed his back.

"Everything's okay, kitten," she promised quietly, mindful of Carmen sleeping a few feet away. Though, to be fair, the girl had slept through two earthquakes. 

"Is papa going to be angry?" Esteban whispered fearfully.

"He might be," Isabela said, "but he can't hurt you here. He's not going to yell at you anymore and you don't have to go to Starkhaven. You're safe, love."

"Okay," Esteban said. "Can I sleep in your bed?"

Isabela picked him up and went down the hall. Hawke was already grabbing a blanket and setting up on the couch. Isabela mouthed, "Thank you."

Esteban fell asleep quickly beside her and it wasn't much longer before Carmen snuck in too. Having both her children in her arms, Isabela finally relaxed enough to close her eyes.

***

Isabela's phone rang exactly at nine in the morning. Isabela refused to answer it and pleaded Hawke to do so. Hawke took a deep breath and flipped it open. "Hello?"

Isabela continued making the children breakfast, trying to make their morning routine as similar as possible. Hawke left the room, still listening to the person on the phone. After a very long ten minutes, she finally came back, putting the phone back on the table.

"Everything okay?" Isabela asked.

"We'll talk after breakfast," Hawke promised. "Merrill will be here soon with Tamlen. Tamlen wants to have a movie marathon and I've got loads of popcorn."

"Is it the one about the fish?" Esteban said, scrunching his face. "I don't like fish."

"I don't know, kitten, but I'm sure he'll bring a few over."

Carmen asked, "Can I have a friend over too?"

Hawke nodded. "Sure. I think Anders is coming over later, I'll ask him to bring Sera over for a visit. Does that sound good?"

Carmen beamed. "Thank you."

They waited until Merrill came and set the kids up with the first movie before they snuck into Hawke's room and closed the door.

Isabela asked, "Was it Luis?"

Hawke said, "Yes. He didn't want to talk to you, so he just yelled at me."

"I'm so sorry, love."

"It wasn't as bad as I thought," Hawke admitted. "I don't think he's realized you left him for me. He's setting up an appointment with his lawyer for Monday. He...um..."

"You can tell me. I'd rather know."

Hawke said slowly, "He told me that you'd have to have the kids do a DNA test because he can't confirm that they're his."

Isabela took a pillow and groaned into it, punching the mattress. When she regained control, she tossed it aside. Hawke rubbed her shoulders and Isabela caught her breath.

"It's okay," Hawke reassured. "It's not a big deal. It was civil, mostly. We just have to get through the next few days. We'll just keep them close to home and try to keep everything as calm for them as possible."

"I don't know what I'm going to do when all three of you are at school," Isabela murmured, running her hand through her hair.

"You'll be alright, I promise. You're the strongest woman I know, Bela. I love you."

Isabela murmured, "I love you too."

Isabela rested her forehead against hers and Hawke held her close. The door opened and they turned, seeing Carmen at the door with Sera. Sera went pale.

"Sera and I want to go to the movies. Can we go with her dad?"

"I'd rather you stay home...but you know what, go ahead. Just ask Anders-or Karl-to keep his phone on."

Sera stomped off and Carmen chased after her.  
"The hardest part is over," Hawke promised. "We're together now, we can handle anything. And you've got so many people in your life who love you. We're not going to let anything happen to you or your kids."

Isabela realized she was crying and wiped her tears away. "Sorry, that's probably going to happen a lot for the next while."

"I'll just have to buy more tissues," Hawke teased.

Isabela kissed her and Hawke cupped her face. They eventually parted and returned to the living room, joining the others on the couch. It was only then that Isabela realized that Hawke had bought a TV just for her children.

Hawke kept her arm around Isabela and while no one said anything at first, Esteban noticed when they switched DVDs. 

"Are you in love with my Mama?" He asked.

Hawke admitted, "Yes."

Esteban nodded. "Thought so."

He went back on his belly and watched the beginning of the movie with no comment. The rest of the afternoon was more of the same but in the evening the entire Thekla and Tethras families were over, both bringing more food than anyone could eat. The night went quickly and eventually the others went home, leaving Hawke to clean up while Isabela put Esteban to bed. He fell asleep almost instantly and Isabela kissed his forehead.

Carmen finished getting ready for bed all on her own and Isabela went to tuck her in. Sleepily, Carmen murmured, "I like it here."

Isabela said softly, "Me too."

***

Isabela oddly wasn't nervous when she sat down in the conference room. As her lawyer explained it, no matter what she was getting her divorce and the money owed to her. At this point it was how nasty and prolonged a battle over custody might be. 

Luis sat across from her, his face worn. He had been drinking, but overall he seemed rather calm. He was dressed well. He always dressed well.

Luis' lawyer started to begin the proceedings, but Luis interrupted him.

"Do you really want to do this?" Luis asked tiredly. 

Isabela nodded. "Yes. I think it would be better for both of us."

Luis looked away, biting his lip. Finally he met her gaze. "How much do you want?"

"Just what our pre-nup gives me," Isabela said firmly. "And I want full custody."

"I want the DNA test first."

"You'll have it, but I'll tell you right now that they're yours."

Luis sighed, "Bela..."

Isabela insisted, "Luis, we were together for seventeen years. Can we just try to end this civilly? Even just for the kids."

"You're not getting child support from me."

"I don't need it."

He laughed, "Don't you? You have no job, no education. You need me. Or have you found some other sad sap to fund your lifestyle? Fine."

"We can negotiate on visits with the kids," Isabela said. "I want them supervised though."

"You don't trust me around them?"

"They're scared of you, Luis," Isabela said quietly. "I think you know that."

"Let's just get this done then," Luis growled.

Isabela sighed gratefully, "Okay."

When the meeting was over, Isabela went back to her new apartment with Hawke. She, Esteban, and Carmen were playing video games and a lasagna was baking in the oven. Isabela bent down to kiss Hawke and the two children complained, "Eeeew."

That night when the children were in bed and they had a moment to themselves, Hawke and Isabela cuddled on the couch. 

"This is going to take some getting used to," Isabela murmured.

"Living together?"

"No...being happy," Isabela admitted. 

Hawke kissed her softly. "This is just the beginning, love. It gets even better from here."


	10. Epilogue

Even with mediation, the divorce dragged on due to bureaucracy. They would have to be living separately for a year before it was finalized and it still would be four months after that until all the paperwork went through.

Yet even with these legal delays, Isabela pressed forward. She finished her course and took Amell's offer to work full time. It wasn't a large wage, but it was enough to cover Hawke's rent and bus fare. Between her and Hawke, they had enough to keep the children happy and to put some money aside. 

School finished and the four of them went on a tiny vacation to a cabin just outside of Kirkwall. The Tethras and the Thelkas joined them and Sera finally got to go camping. Throughout the summer, Tamlen and Esteban spent almost every day together and both families were relieved when they were put in the same Grade One class. 

The next year was an adjustment period as now the novelty was wearing off. Hawke was definitely a cool adult, but the children were having trouble getting used to having another parent in the house. And while moving into Hawke's small two bedroom apartment had been romantic, it really wasn't enough space for all of them. Luckily by the time Luis and Isabela had been officially separated for a year a cute brownstone in Lowtown came on the market. Isabela used her money to put a down payment on the house and they moved in over March Break. A little more room did them all some good.

The week after the divorce was finalized, Hawke took Isabela out to dinner, just the two of them. After their meal, they walked through the park where they went on their first date. When they got to the bridge, Hawke got down on one knee and proposed. Isabela instantly said yes.

Having little money, they had a quite ceremony at city hall and Merrill threw them a party at her apartment building. Carmen and Sera were their flower girls, but Sera insisted she wear a suit. Isabela thought she looked quite dashing and when she told her, Sera went bright red. 

They danced together in that little room, Isabela in her soft blue dress and Hawke in her white pant suit, and for the first time in Isabela's life, everything felt perfect.


End file.
